Find Love (Sort of) With Thinking Bob20th June 2016
In the immortal words of one-hit human stetson Johnny Lee, baby, you’re looking for love in all the wrong places. You might be a card-carrying diner at the digital love buffet – we see you there, Tinderers, Happners, Twitter DM slider-ers – or maybe you’re kicking it old school and still somehow, you know, meeting people IN THE ACTUAL FLESH AND STUFF.
But if you’re still not meeting anyone who makes you want to get a puppy and move to Stoke Newington, it might be time to re-examine your hunting ground.
Meet new people (and possibly a date) at Thinking Bob
Newsflash: Thinking Bob socials aren’t the internet and they aren’t a bar! They’re not dating events. Instead, they’re fun, clever activities that bring together people who like the same stuff. Sometimes, that stuff ends up being each other.
Here are a few of our events and a suggestion of the (very unlikely) dates you might meet at each.
The Professor’s Magical Mystery Field Trip
At the Professor’s Magical Mystery Field Trip, you meet Larry Trotter, 19, performance artist. When you meet for a first date, he’s wearing small round glasses, a cape and a rad forehead scar. You meet in Dalston so this all makes complete sense.
You sip gloomily on a half pint in the Shacklewell Arms whilst he issues a fevered polemic on London’s renting crisis — apparently he lives in a cupboard under his parents’ stairs? No dice, even if he does live in a ‘really sick castle’ half the year — which is apparently ‘where the magic really happens, bro’.
You end the date abruptly when he gets his wand out. For shame, Larry! For shame.
Meet someone more magical than Larry at the Magical Mystery Field Trip — returning soon!
Superbobbers Comic Book Club
You meet Mark whilst poring over a first-edition Marvel at the Superbobbers Comic Book Club. Handsome but unassuming, his thick-lensed hipster specs and caring manner suggest a promising date.
You meet at the bottom of the Shard; he expresses more than a passing interest in the revolving doors but settles eventually (after a mild breakdown over a passing radioactive-green Appletini). At the end of the night, you kiss; it feels like you’re flying. Maybe you are.
He’s called away (‘business in the city, sorry’) and leaves suddenly; you walk home dejected. Overhead, you watch a particularly powerful shooting star make its way across the inky night sky and wonder why all the supermen fly away.
Find a hero who won’t require spandex at the Superbobbers Comic Book Club.
Frat Party in the Park: Pre 4th of July Celebrations
Chad approaches you at the party by throwing a ping pong ball into your red cup. He is 27 years old and wearing a backwards cap, which is obviously unacceptable, however, multiple keg stands have impaired your judgement, so you agree to a date.
Come Wednesday night, find yourself at a dimly-lit sports bar in Leicester Square with four of his ‘brosephines’. You sip gingerly at a warm Budweiser whilst watching all five strip to adult nappies and march around the bar shouting PI KAPPA ALPHA and harassing anyone with boobs. Back to the drawing board.
Chad enough of bad dates? Get to know someone better over beer pong and beer in the park.
Editors note: we must stress that real-life bobbers offer a far more attractive dating prospect than these disappointing fictional characters! And from our experience, the endings are happier, too. But, y’know, comedy.
None of these events lighting your fire? Find more here.