Don’t leave your friendships to chance – know your personality!12th June 2014
Do you know your personality?
Sometimes find yourself stumped for conversation? It might help!
I’m sure we’ve all been there. You’re sitting at work, college or at a random event and you’re feeling rather lonely. Next to you is someone you haven’t spoken to before; you manage to strike up conversation with them. You discuss films you like to watch, books you like to read … Suddenly, you’re both stumped for conversation and fall quiet. You discuss this uncomfortable scenario with yourself in your mind:
‘What just happened? We have the same interests … we both love Star Trek and Harry Potter!
Doesn’t mean you’re going to be best buds though. There was no real connection … and don’t forget that blank stare you received whenever you cracked a joke. Not that your jokes were particularly funny, but still….
Hmmm, you may have a point!’
The truth of it is that the best friendships are founded on personalities that match, not TV shows or books you both enjoy. Enneagrams and Socionics, along with the Myers-Briggs Test, are possibly the most famous and accurate ways of discovering straightaway what type of personality you are. For example, using the Myers-Briggs test, I am an INFJ – a rare type; I can say with absolute honesty it has always been difficult for me to make friends. Sceptics will say it is impossible to categorize people in this way based on a few questions, but the truth is we all have a personality that we are born with and this personality is the key to lasting friendships.
I mean, think about it – if personalities were animals and animals only sustained friendships within their sub-type, you’re not going to find a lion strolling down by the river with a hippopotamus … They’d kill each other! And why is it that invertebrates are truly united? Is it because they share a love of buzzing around people’s food? No, it’s because of one infallible feature: they all lack a backbone. It’s not their interests that bind them, it’s that core feature they were born with. Fascinatingly, as we have discovered in social interactions, it’s not much different with humans. Personalities seek personalities that are similar to them … which can be a pretty gruelling task to achieve! After all, you can’t just wander up to someone and say, “Hi there! I’m an INTJ. Are you the same as me or an INFJ? Perhaps we can be friends!” Most likely, you’ll be met with a look that screams, “CRAZY PERSON ALERT!” before they dash for the hills.
Subtlety and understanding is the key. Expanding your social circle can be a difficult task so why not give this whole personality thing a go? Myers-Briggs is used in the workplace and for romantic relationships; well, there’s no reason why it can’t be used to form friendships too. One place that fully understands this link between personalities is the socialising club ‘Thinking Bob’; it can be a great place to meet new friends, especially in this day and age when we are all so busy! London can be a lonely place – remember, it doesn’t have to be!
Sarah Brownlee – INFJ –
Member, Personality-type enthusiast and blogger of Outside the Box